I Have Enough Toilet Paper but I Forgot to Breathe

It’s 3.14.20 and all spring break travel plans are successfully cancelled.

Ok, then breathe, I tell myself. 

Then the fear voice inside my head speaks again: “yes I have everything - tp, water, sick meds, fresh and frozen veggies, fresh and frozen meat. Fresh and frozen fruit. Lots of shelf stable snacks and let’s see what else do I need. Sick meds, essential oils.

Oh shit I accidentally ordered paper towels, not tp.  Back to square one ....”

The “other” voice: “Breathe again, April - this nesting thing you’re doing is going a little overboard. It’s seriously worse than the last week before you gave birth. Can you calm down?” Fear voice back at me: “But what if it’s not overboard, what if I haven’t done enough to prepare?”

This is the voice of the world - my Facebook feed, news feed, neighbors, friends, everyone I talk to.

But I hear it again – “Breathe again. It’s going to be ok.”

“Yeah keep telling yourself that” fear speaks again.  "You know it’s a national emergency right and Italians are having to open their windows to sing and connect with each other. We don’t do that here!!!!" 

“What are you going to do?” it speaks. “Stuck in the house with your high energy child, trying to work, while simultaneously attending to her needs, and keep everything afloat. Finances, bills, work, how is it all going to work. How???” Its voice growing louder.

“Breathe.  Stay present.”

 Ok – I can see now that 2 big breaths is better than one.

 Then a sudden thought, one that moves me out of fear and into curiosity?  

What is it like to be working on the front lines? To be a doctor or nurse or someone in the healthcare system who is actually making decisions and trying to help others while the rest of us are trying to make sure we can go to the bathroom in the cleanest manner for the next 7 years.  

Another thought - what is it like to be my clients working for large companies whose stock is going down daily and perhaps unclear of what will happen next? 

 What is it like to be an athlete, performer, event coordinator, participant who have paid large sums of money to attend an event, child who was attending the Houston stock show to show an animal, actor performing for months for a Broadway show - now cancelled. 

I want to know. I shift my thinking to move out of my fear and learn, begin understanding what it’s like for everyone else out there.  

 I want to understand it from the space of creation, not from the slant of despair I often feel after watching the news.  This is the space where I thrive.  

Because I know that I can move out of my own fear by understanding another’s reality.  Empathetic listening creates relativity, which simultaneously allows me to feel my own humanity at a deeper level and could shift me from fear.

That typically works for me but will it work here? Maybe? 

 I don’t know the answer or how this should work but I do know this. I know what happens when we are willing to let go of fear at the same time we grasp onto curiosity – new possibilities happen. 

I will do something to move me from fear to curiosity.  I want to have a real conversation with those affected or infected (even if it’s only with fear or a low supply of toilet paper). I only want to hear stories that will impact others.

I will sponsor my own research study and pay incentives for 1-hour “empathy interviews.”  My goal for the research is to understand the specific impact of social distancing to everyday families, including the closures of restaurants, events, etc. etc. 

• I’m calling it Combatting COIVD-19 via Empathy Co-Creation.

• If you’re interested in participating in a 1-hour webcam interview with me about your experience, please click here.

• I am also opening a private Facebook page for those who are interested in: Combatting COIVD-19 via Empathy Co-Creation.

Why? Because…

1. I believe that when we can see outside of ourselves:

   1. Fear disappears

   2. Curiosity leads to creativity

   3. It could help create an idea in someone else’s mind who can actually do something to help

   4. That idea could lead to a creative way to change the world

2. I believe when we hear each other’s stories, we can connect again, even if it’s virtual.

3. I believe we create new possibilities using our creative minds rather than our fear based minds.

4. I believe amongst the many tragedies this virus has caused - one of the greatest is the level of separation we now need to have, and I will be a catalyst for deeper connections

5. I believe when we can find new ways to connect, we can regain hope and faith in the human spirit

6. I believe our soul’s awakening is just around the corner of a big fat virus.  

I believe when we do this, we will stop hoarding toilet paper, and start sharing it, little by little, tissue by tissue, to those who need it most (and if we don’t, I might be one of those needing it!).

See my recent update here - How to stay sane by shifting to curiosity.

What To Do With an Idea Called Made With Empathy

A few years ago, I started having the urge to grow my business. At the time, I wasn’t sure exactly what that would look like but it seemed important to me at the time.  Now I know that the growth I was looking for was within me, not outside of me.

These are the beliefs that were the foundation for my desire to grow:

• Without growth, one becomes stagnant

• It would give my life more purpose, meaning

• I would feel more accomplished

• It would give me more freedom

• I was feeling burnt out

So, I started working on a growth Idea to offer educational tools to teach what we do for large corporations. At one point, I thought I would teach other small business owners to conduct their own marketing research, then the Idea evolved to teaching corporate leaders tools to help them collaborate better when co-creating. 

For the last 3 years, I did what I guess one does when they have an Idea, at least according to this book:  What Do You Do With an Idea?  I have been looking at my own navel: wondering about it, dreaming about it, thinking about it, researching it, dabbling in it, telling myself it’s dumb, and then finally, I put it on a shelf.

To be fair to myself, I tried a few things: I went through a strategy process, I drafted an entire online course, created a Mastermind group, tested my idea once, then another time, and it has done a lot of shape shifting in the process.

And through this naval-gazing phase of the process, a name was created for the Idea, and then a trademark application requested. And, as luck would have it, just a few weeks ago I received a letter that it has officially been trademarked.  Thus, a brand name for the Idea on the shelf was established: Made With Empathy™.  Now, I must take it off the shelf, dust it off, and see what happens.

I have been thinking about what holds me back, and it is fear.  I wish fear didn’t hold me back.  I’m fearful of it being a flop, that it won’t be meaningful to others, and that it’s just a stupid Idea, not really what others want or need.  

I’m also fearful of getting laughed at, criticized, rejected. That it will impact the work I already enjoy doing.  I don’t want to change what I love about my work, I just want to “enhance it”, make it shiny and loved…by me.  So, that’s the fight within myself – giving myself permission to do something important for me while wanting it to also have a positive, helpful impact to others. 

I wish it was easier for me to launch a new Idea into the world.  I see (and help others) do it for a living (link back to April bell research group services).  It’s so ironic because I help corporations do what is the hardest thing for me to do – launch their ideas into the world in a way that creates a massive impact – by marrying their Idea with the Needs of others.  After going through my own mental battle to “launch something”, I am even more impressed and in awe with all of the brands, companies and people who bring new products and services to life.

This Idea of Making things with Empathy hit my core because I witness on a consistent basis how ideas can take on form and literally get created out of nothing more than a brainstorm or ideation session.  When a team comes together to collaborate, to get clear on their objectives as a team, set aside their own personal opinions, and begin listening to each other, and those they are trying to create for, magic happens.  It happens almost every time, when teams (and the people within those teams) show up, get present, get out of their own heads, create space to focus, and are willing to resiliently pursue next steps when the idea doesn’t work the 1st time, or the 2nd, or the 3rd.  It’s really incredible.

I get to see great, brilliant people create amazing products and services – and they do it by using a lot of Empathy.  And I get hired to be “the Empathizer” – I get to build a bridge between consumer and creator, between creators.  I get to create space for magic to happen. 

Ironically, I’ve learned a lot about Empathy this last year.  Before then, I didn’t think I had a lot to learn.  If you’ve taken the StrengthFinder test, you may be familiar that Empathy is one of the 34 strengths.  Empathy is my #2 strength, which means I can intuitively and immediately feel and care about other’s feelings.  And my #1 strength is WOO (Winning Others Over) which means I love meeting and getting to know people, as many people as possible.  Perfect for the job I do.

But it doesn’t leave someone with those 2 strengths a lot of room for their own emotions.  I am currently reading a fascinating book by Richard Davidson, The Emotional Life of Your Brain.  In it, he has created an Emotional Style based on 6 dimensions - one of them is Self-Awareness.  I have realized how “Self-Opaque” I am – which means I have been mostly unaware of what I’m feeling most of my life.

What I’m learning is that even though it’s one of my strengths according to StrengthFinder, my ability to Empathize is actually limited due to the lack of it I have for myself.  

When one is able to empathize with their own feelings AND with the feelings of others, it creates clarity, and intentional, purposeful action.

Empathy with myself gives me clarity, and with clarity I can see the next action.  

It tells me when...

1. I need to stand strong because it’s my truth and I can’t be swayed

2. To find grace to be present with someone else’s experience without taking it on as my own

Empathy - with BOTH self and others - is the key to co-creating and bringing new things to reality. 

So, that’s where this idea originated.  I have conducted over 10,000 hours of focus groups, interviews, co-creation sessions using Empathy, and now I am wondering:  "Why can’t these tools be shifted and used outside the focus group setting to design a more meaningful life with each other?” 

So now my why for growth is different – it’s more meaningful.  I have a vision of creating deeper connections, greater collaborations, and ultimately more joy and meaning in the world.

That’s why I want to create tools, a useful system or process….but I need your help. 

I’m not going to do any more navel gazing. I want to know what’s wanted (what the bigger need or desire is) because if I can understand that, I can customize Made With Empathy ™ so that it’s helping achieve what is most wanted.

If you’re interested, please answer these few questions about what would make Made With Empathy™ tools most meaningful to you - Click here.  

Let’s see where this Idea takes us…

How Increased Empathy Gave Me a Beautiful, Fresh Start

I have spent most of my career using empathy to help connect and translate people’s emotions for the purpose building brands. 

I love helping brands connect the dots based on the emotional desires of their consumer. It not only helps brands with their internal marketing, it also facilitates consumers to get more of what they want.

Someone recently used the word "bridge builder” as a way to encapsulate what it is I do - yes, that’s what it is.  And “bridge building" requires empathy.  To be a successful focus group moderator, you must exude empathy.  It must pour from your pores.  You must listen with presence, curiosity, and use that curiosity to co-create new ideas.  

When you “feel” what others feel and use the power of your brain to create new questions and connections, co-creation occurs in a very meaningful way.  Whereas, if your mind is distracted and not listening, you can’t really ask relevant questions.  Both your head and your heart have to be listening in conjunction with each other in order to co-create something new with others.

While I am hyper vigilant about these things in my work, my personal life, it appears, is a different story sometimes. When I am out of this controlled “focus group" setting, I recognize it is more difficult to be empathetic because it is more difficult to be present.  

Much of the time in my personal life, I lean into wanting to change some aspect of what’s going on in the present -  I want others to show up in a different way than they are or perhaps “be" different than who they are being.  And my divorce has taught me that I can’t control anyone else’s thoughts, behaviors or ways of being…except my own.  

So, how did this increase empathy and creativity for me?  Because I am beginning to see the value of using my “focus group” skills in my own life.  

Here are the connections I made to help transfer the automatic empathy skills I use weekly in controlled “focus group" settings to my personal life with my daughter:

1. Creating Space Allows Presence - The reason focus groups work well for deep connection is because you purposefully create space for people to listen to each other. While I am great at creating space for others, it wasn’t until lately that I began to create some space for myself. I remember one night a few months ago when we had some spare time, I was just sitting, doing nothing except observing my daughter play. I wasn’t on my phone, or watching a movie, I was just sitting, watching, being present with her. She was talking to herself - in an imaginary scenario. As I listened to her, I started thinking about who she is becoming, what it must be like to be her. I saw her outside of me in a new way.

2. Presence Moves you From Anxiety into Curiosity

   1. As I sat, present with her, really seeing her, seeing past my own pain, I began getting curious about my daughter’s pain. If you haven’t been through a divorce, it may be hard to empathize with what it’s like. Many people believe it’s a “choice” - and that because you didn’t “work hard enough to save the marriage", the pain and loss is undermined. But divorce is the death of something sacred, and it comes with pain.

   2. I can tell you that the pain and loss combined with the shame and guilt is so consuming that it is difficult to NOT get lost in it. And when you are lost in your own pain, it’s challenging to be present (to empathize) with your children's pain, anyone else’s pain, that is. There’s so much fear - "how am I going to make it on the other side?” "What’s wrong with me?” "How did this happen?” "What is going to happen next?” All of these fearful, anxious thoughts can have one (me, that is) spinning out of control. But this particular night, as I watched her, my curiosity grew. I became curious about who she was being in that moment, about what it must be like to be her.

   3. I realize I didn’t know what it felt like to be her because my parents didn’t go through a divorce when I was young. I never experienced living in 1 home, then moving back and forth to 2 homes. I got curious in that moment while looking at her - wondering what she was feeling, and imagining how heart wrenching it must be, on so many levels, having the world as you knew it disrupted, torn apart.

3. Curiosity Breeds Creativity

   1. The cool thing about curiosity, though, is that it moves you from the fearful limbic part of the brain to the prefrontal cortex, which breeds creativity. With presence, listening, really listening and “feeling into” what the experience is like to be someone else, your brain shifts to creative solutioning.

   2. As I watched her, the questions I asked myself were different -

      1. From Fearful questions - “how will I survive this" TO…

      2. Presence - “How interesting that she stopped playing by herself and tried to pull me into her game"

      3. Curiosity - "I wonder what she needs from me right now?"

      4. Creativity - “What am I going to do about helping her see the beauty in having 2 homes instead of 1?” “How can I show up and be the best I can be as a co-parent in a way that helps her feel safe?”

   3. Suddenly, boom, a new thought allowed me to shift away from my own fearful questions, into solving something for her. That is empathy. That is connectivity, that is creativity. It is what brands… and a deeper connected life is built on.

   4. And the creativity can continue. Now I want to know: "How can I build more of that connection in my life?” And "How can I help my daughter move from fear to curiosity and creative grow?” Moving from surviving to thriving - that’s the problem I am now solving for….how to thrive in what is.

But what does Empathy for others you love actually require?

1. Empathy Requires Neutrality:

   1. I realize how much I judge around me - in a focus group, I am hired, primarily because I am considered a neutral 3rd party. It’s hard for people within a company, brand, etc. to ask neutral questions to their customer audience - for example: “You do like this idea, don’t you?” 🙂. These questions don’t allow co-creation, they create stagnancy. Instead, they hire a neutral moderator to simply “be with” their customers - allowing for greater understanding, deeper emotional connection because people open up to those who give them a compassionate, neutral space to be in. When they feel judged, or that their answers will be “wrong”, they stop talking.

   2. As I sat with my daughter that night, I was just with her as she was telling me what she needed. I allowed her to speak, and I didn’t try to change or correct or shift what she was saying. I also didn’t throw myself into the more normal judgment of myself - instead of blaming myself, I allowed space for me to stay with her, without judgment. I resisted the urge to encourage her, shift her thinking, give her a new perspective, all of the things I normally do to “help” her. And I resisted the urge to self-flagellate “how could I do this to her?” “I”m the worst mom.” “She’ll never recover.” Remaining neutral created a little "magical moment for mama and daughter” for us BOTH to see that I could in fact, be neutral, and truly empathetic without having to “fix or solve” it. What a concept just to hold space for her.

2. Empathy Requires “Being with” Strong Emotion Without Resistance:

   1. Because I stayed in the space with her, she likely felt more at ease. Suddenly she began crying, telling me how she was feeling. Instead of doing what I normally would do - try to change her feelings or solve them for her (or go further into self-shaming), I was led to just hug her, and as she calmed, say how I WAS FEELING. And because I had been present with her, I was aware of my feelings too.

   2. I could suddenly with clarity articulate all the unsaid things I had been feeling for months. "I’m so so sorry, sweet girl. I’m so sorry your parents are not able to make 1 home work so that you live with consistency. But I want you know that you are safe. I want you to understand how loved you are - by both of us. I want you to feel the beautiful unicorn creature that you are - a beautiful flower, that when opened, will change the world. You will change the world, sweet Autumn, and I will see you do it. I will sit in honor at your beauty. And we will never stop loving you. Your mom and dad are imperfect, but we love you to the moon and back. You are a masterpiece and I participated in creating you, and I am proud of it."

   3. She looked at me, silent. Without a word, she took it in. Then she dried her eyes and smiled her unicorn smile and said - “ok, I think I’m ready to do something else now - do you want to play like you’re the daughter and I’m the mom and we live in a castle, and then ….. and then… and then…..?” And I said "Yes, I am ready. I am ready to play with you.” (But only for 15 minutes…. 🙂 )

That moment was special, addictive. New.  

Oddly, I felt more in control being present with her in that way than I do most days. The days I’m trying to gain control over her, the days we bicker or I’m "trying to get her to pick up her shoes already.”  Maybe presence is where I have the most control, for when I am (in these rare but precious moments) present with what is happening right in front of me, I feel like the world is an oyster and pearls appear. And every pearl is a fresh start.

The Challenge and Reward of Learning How to Let Go

Many of us have been inspired by the Marie Kondo movement - letting go of what doesn’t bring us joy, especially when the Netflix series appeared last fall.  For years, I have appreciated the idea of “the life changing magic of tidying up”.  

However, my tidying up process evidently needed an overhaul because that’s what I got!  A super size dose of what it means to “tidy up” in a big way.

I let go of the vision of what I wanted my family to look like

• I let go of over-functioning in some of my relationships

• I let go of a lot of blame and shame

• I let go of the disappointment of some of my dreams not coming into reality

• I let go of emotional suppression

• I let go of the home where my daughter was born and raised for the first 8 years of her life

• I let go of a lot of “stuff” that was in my home and in storage

Yes, it has been a season of letting go.

I just read today (from Marc and Angel Hack Life) that “..letting go is not giving up.  Letting go is surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations.”

The beauty in letting go is this - it breeds fertile ground for new life.

 I never really understood the truth of that until this last year.  I have struggled with letting go.  Up until now, it has been challenging for me to let go because I feel more in control when I hold on tight.  I subconsciously believe that if I can just hold on tight enough, then everything will be ok.  I want to hold on to everything around me.  To the things I have collected, to my people, to everything in my world.  

After a year of a challenging separation and divorce, I was faced this last summer with moving out of the home we had lived in for 10 years, trying to determine what to do with all of the “stuff” that had been collected, including 2 storage units of office furniture.  

You see, our company used to office in a ~1000 sq. foot office.  But a couple of years ago, I had big visions for the space I wanted for our little company.  And to achieve being able to afford a "bigger space", I moved our team to a virtual working arrangement (temporarily, I thought).  So, we rented 2 storage units to store all of the office belongings and our team all began working separately from home.  I believed and had visioned we would have an “expanded” space eventually - one where we could hold “ideation” and focus group sessions.  And all the while, our "beloved office belongings” had been hanging ever so patiently in 2 storage units, as our work and lives went on….

What I didn’t realize was that all of the office “stuff” I had been storing as well as the overflow in my house represented soooo much other emotional baggage I had been holding on to as well.

The process for letting go of that stuff was painful.  It forced me to take a look globally at everything I was holding onto. I had to get face to face with the big dreams I once had, the ones I hardly even knew were there.  The whole process was symbolic for everything I felt about the failure of my marriage - heartache, grief, pain and shame.

But here’s what’s interesting about the letting go process.

1. Letting Go requires Presence - you can’t really choose what you will let go of and what you will hold onto unless you get really present with how you feel about everything individual thing in your space. You have to come face to face with whatever you’ve been suppressing - the fact that you made the choice to purchase it, regret for not using it, guilt for the money spent on it, and everything else in between.

2. Letting Go is therapeutic - because it’s chaotic, because it brings up stored emotions you didn’t know were there, it actually helps you release stored pain.

3. Releasing allows Freedom to Begin Again - then, you get to make a new choice - what’s great about making new choices Is that it brings with it a sense of freedom.

4. Removal of physical clutter facilitates Renewal - I never realized how much subconscious clutter I had going on, rattling away in some region of my mind because I was holding on tightly to physical “clutter” I could no longer see.

5. There is Healing on the Other Side - I like systems, processes, things that “line up”, are predictable. And letting go creates unpredictable feelings. That IS part of the process, and the only way to the other side is through it.

What I learned from the process:

1. Burning paper items was a surprisingly cathartic way to let go - and much less expensive than my therapy. The releasing that occurred when I went through many old boxes of stored papers - everything from old “data” from my early years of work in my 20’s to old love letters from elementary, middle and high school friends/boyfriends - was burned. So many things that are unimportant but somehow subconsciously attached - gone. I smile again just thinking about that.

2. Talking openly with a compassionate friend about what I was experiencing helped lessen the pain, guilt and shame I was facing. It also gave way to several ideas and happenings that never would have existed otherwise:

1. One friend told me about a company who does estate sales. They came in, took a commission for a % of the total made, and they handled the whole thing. For us, it was extremely rewarding.

2. I brought my daughter into the process by telling her she got to decide what she kept at dads, what she wanted to take with us, and what she wanted to let go of. I told her everything of hers was her choice and whatever money we made, we would go on a special trip of her choosing with the money we made. We are going to Paris in 2 weeks with the money we made :)!!!!

3. Doing that made the emotional pain easier because we had a goal, an incentive for letting go as well as a semi-pain free way to logistically make things go away.

And so the benefit of letting go for me has been like tilling up the soil before planting - it brings forth soil that is rich and ready for new life.  It is open, and waiting. 

I feel new life coming in some days.  Other days I just wait.  Ever so slowly and somedays magically, I am seeing things being brought in - because now there is space to enjoy it, to revel in it, to see it, notice it, be grateful for it. 

Yes, I am grateful for the “fall” of this season.  And of my daughter, Autumn, who helps me understand with full clarity what to hold on to…albeit a little looser each day. 

Essential Oils for Everything

I have become a little obsessed with essential oils starting a few years ago, increasingly so in the last few months.  I’ll be honest, the whole essential oil thing was all a little overwhelming and confusing at first.  Some oils could be used topically, some should be diffused, still others should be taken internally.  There were so many oils and so little time to understand what, when and how to use them.  Little by little, I have found some routines that have stuck and am now officially on the bandwagon.

Here are a few of my favorites and how I use them:  

1. Serenity – my daughter uses this as a part of her nighttime ritual, rubbing it on her neck, chest and feet to help her relax (we put about 10 drops of it with fractionated coconut oil. I also put ~5 drops directly into my bathwater along 4 cups of Epsom salt.

2. Frankincense – People claim this to be “the king of oils” because of its long history of healing properties but it’s expensive so I typically use this more sparingly but often by mixing a few drops in both my face and body lotions.

3. Past Tense – one of our team members, Shelley Miller, first introduced this to me a few years ago and I swear by it. Rubbing this on the back of my neck can reduce tension and give a refreshed feeling for hours. I love this!

4. Lemon, Slim & Sassy and Peppermint blend – Recently, I got creative and decided to create a mix of the best tasting oils. I used a partially empty bottle of Lemon and eye-balled it, putting equal parts of all 3 in the bottle. I use it daily, all day, dropping a few drops in every bottle of water. It’s refreshing, helps me get my water intake daily, and I notice feeling better. Tip: use a klean kanteen, swell or other bottle - not a plastic one.

5. OnGuard Beadlets– we have made it through the seasonal season with only 2 days of a high temperature (crossing my fingers as I write) and I believe one of the reasons is because of our preventative daily dose of 5 beadlets. It’s anti-bacterial and germ-destroying properties are keeping our bodies from full on attack thus far.

6. Emotional blends (Motivate, Peace, Cheer & Forgive) – these are a few of the ones I use. I love having them with me so that when I’m going into a high-pressure meeting, all day research, or just need to get myself in gear to focus, I use these to trigger the mood I want to move me forward. We love them so much, we gave these out as our Christmas gifts this year and they were a hit. Here are the cards we made along with them!

Motivate is an encouraging blend with elements of peppermint, citrus, and spices which help with feeling confident and courageous. 

Peace is a reassuring blend, which uses floral and mint scents to help cultivate feelings of tranquility and comfort. 

Cheer is an uplifting blend with a bright, fresh aroma that lifts spirits and creates positivity. 

Forgive is a rejuvenating blend that brings about relief and patience. The woodsy scent sooths strained nerves, helping heal through contentment. 

How to Build Data That's Useful

Analytics and Stroller Pushing

One of the best analytical lessons I ever learned was nowhere near my computer. My wife and I were gearing up to have our first child. We were shopping for a baby stroller. If you have done this, you know the choices are paralyzing. There are at least 20 options that are rated on multiple qualities. After hours of debating what should have been painless choice, we stopped ourselves and asked, “what is the most important feature here”. After thinking about it, my wife said, “I want to be able to reach down with one hand (because the other will be holding the baby) and pick it up so it collapses, then toss it in the back of the RAV4 in one motion.” Suddenly, 20 options went down to 2 or 3, and we made a decision a minute after that.

Good data insight development follows this approach. It is not an attempt to build the Encyclopedia Britannica, it’s an agreement on what piece of currently unavailable information would make the most difference to the people who actually run the business. Here is a fun little video of me talking about this.

Back in 2011 I took a leap of faith. I left the stability of Pepsico to lead an analytics group in a much smaller Energy company. At that time, I was introduced to a new software called Tableau. It seemed pretty cool, and was easy to learn if you were a strong excel user. So off I went with my team to build reports from the database of company information we had put together.

One of the first and certainly most notorious reports we developed was for a “very eager” and attention-challenged marketing manager. The good news is that he loved data and believed in not making decisions without it. The bad news is that there was no end to the data that he felt he needed to look at.

My team went on to develop the report exactly the way that he wanted it, with all the different possible views and filters he could think of.  With this one report, he would be able to see everything, and answer every question that his directors could pose.

This is an example of what it looked like. My team gave it a name: “Filters Gone Wild.” No one else in the company could stand to use this report for more than two minutes without needing a glass of scotch.

So why to people do this? Isn’t it a noble intention, after all, to want to see more data? The reason is because complexity creates its own burden, As it turns out, consuming data is a lot like purchasing jam - more isn’t always better.  Not only is there a point of diminishing returns in how satisfied we are, but our ability to act is reduced significantly as well.

That was a really interesting role for me, and I’m glad I took it. Not only did I learn a lot of new, useful skills, but more importantly I got to see the gamut of “clients” and how they wanted data. The better ones understood this concept of simplification.

Around the same time, there was an article released by MIT, which put some science to what I was learning. They surveyed a few thousand people at multiple companies and determined that top performers were five times more likely to use analytics than lower performers. No surprise there, but what was more interesting was how the top companies approached data.  It wasn’t about budgets or sophistication of software; the lower performers cited development process and managerial issues as a major contributor to blocking progress. What - people are getting in the way?!?

A recent client experience motivated me to write this blog. The team had purchased all the software it needed to bang out good reporting. They had a small army of internal folks and contractors who could wrangle and structure the data as good as anyone. But when the six-month check-in time on a nine-month project came, they discovered that only rudimentary reporting had been developed, and that the internal clients were disappointed to the point of considering pulling the funding for the expensive software they purchased.

Why? Because the IT developers who were in charge of it had treated it as a requirements fulfillment exercise.

One of the key points of the MIT article was a concept they called “start in the middle”. In their findings, they saw a trend in the approach of effective teams where they would simplify the issue to discover the most relevant information to move the needle the most, and then iterate against that until they honed it to a useful state.

It’s a conversation between business people, that happens to use technology as a tool to make it come to life. There is no requirement to gather, because it’s never really known completely what is needed until the discovery begins. It’s not a conversation with executives, it’s with the frontline managers and directors who make the business happen. Once they start becoming successful, peers start taking notice and the path to a data-driven culture organically grows.

How to Love Spring Cleaning

It’s that time of year again. There’s something primitive in the sense we get come springtime. Maybe we’re just wired this way. Spring brings with it a desire to clean house, to get rid of the stuff. The stuff that has magically survived the selection process and found what seems to be a permanent home in our garage, closet or pantry. We used it before, a long time ago, and it would really come in handy if that time ever came again. Yet it hasn’t, so it just sits and waits another day.

Here at ABRG, there are two things that describe us well: we love research, and we love learning about how to be more efficient (try running a thriving boutique research firm with four people and you’ll understand why). Recently, we had the opportunity to do both. While in an ideation workshop with a client, we conducted a practice brainstorming exercise on the topic of spring cleaning. To get people geared up and in the mode of ideation, we typically have them practice on an off-topic, non-business subject that’s ripe for multiple ideas.

The topic of spring cleaning fits well, so we asked them to come up with as many ideas they could on “what’s a creative way you could attack a spring cleaning exercise”? To set the stage we give them some guidance on how to keep coming up with ideas:

1. Land on something, and think of other solutions
2. Wish list it – what could I do if….
3. If you feel that you can’t relate, think of who you could ask
4. Work individually first, then as a group
5. When you’re stuck, move around or talk to someone

The answers were creative, practical, and fun!

A good ideation generates multiple ideas without judging them on whether they are good or bad, because sometimes the crazy ideas lead to break-throughs of innovation.

• Live in a hotel.
• Open a bottle of wine.
• Make the kids do it.
• Buy stock in cleaning companies.
• Ask Alexa.

Some responses had themes of minimalism, which ironically asserts that happiness is achieved in life by having less, not more. The less stuff we fill our space and lives with, the more we are open to things that really matter – time with family, focused effort on our passions, appreciation of our surroundings. One blog we follow at ABRG is Becoming Minimalist. If you follow the thread of minimalism you’ll recognize these suggestions to overcome decluttering:

1. If you haven’t used it in three months/one year, throw it out.
2. Does it bring you joy?
3. Don’t start reminiscing.
4. Would it be that hard to replace?
5. Have I worn it in 2 months?

Some ideas had efficiency in mind, how to get through the emotionally tough nature of the process in a way that works. At ABRG, we follow Asian Efficiency and have gotten a ton of great advice through their resources over the past few years. There were some good ideas on how to best go about it:

• Go room by room.
• Clean as you go.
• Hire people and give them each a room.
• Go through the out-of-site, out-of-mind places.
• Make someone else go through your stuff and throw out anything that doesn’t look good.
• Buy storage bins with labels – prioritize what you store, and once the bin is full throw out the rest.

This year, we’re going to make this painful process more fun and efficient by tossing in a few of these ideas. We hope you pick up a few tips that help you, too!

Art of Data Simplicity

I recently made the leap from the corporate side. After 15 years of helping people understand and solve problems with their data, I decided that my profession would be more enjoyable as a consultant, where I would be able to see a wider variety of challenging work. That’s certainly been the case!

Like a lot of people, I’m amazed at how the data world has grown. The amount of data and the tools available are impressive. I wish that I had some of these tools available to me when I started my journey, but then again, I wonder how much of that would have mattered. Like a photographer who gets better through the process of just shooting more pictures, a data person gets better by just analyzing data – whether it’s on a spreadsheet or a sophisticated analytical platform.

Which brings to another theme I’ve seen in my 15 years, and has recently gotten worse: people forget the power of simple data. It’s a syndrome that’s common and has blown up with the increase in data and tools. Many organizations rush to gather as much as they can and purchase tools to understand it - afraid they will not be competitive without it.  What’s more likely than not, though, is that they wind up with mismatched pieces or tools that don’t play well with each other.

I’m reminded of the book Data Smart, that walks the reader through the basics of data science through follow-along exercises in Excel. By doing that, you understand the data at it’s lowest level, and get what the statistical method is doing far better than if you had used a sophisticated drag-and-drop software. Great read.

Another great read on that topic is Data Science for Business, which does an excellent job of explaining the “so what” and “why does it matter” behind different statistical methodologies. What you method you choose to follow shapes whether or not you’re going to get a result that means anything.

In thinking back on it, my whole data career has been around getting people past this, creating things that are simple and actionable and move them forward quickly. It’s not just a technical exercise. Like qualitative marketing research, the approach that’s used makes all the difference. “Garbage in, garbage out” is often what got people to that place to start with, so empathizing and getting to the right question is a necessary first step.

Take customer experience for example. There are a lot of great tools out there, from Qualtrics to Medallia, and more and more companies have staff dedicated to CX. However, what most of them can’t answer is “what effect will this campaign have’, or “what is the value of converting a passive to a promoter’? They are not getting at the “so what” behind the data, because they are relying on the system-fed metrics that their platform provides.

Getting past that involves the right mix of business and technical know-how. One without the other produces limited results. 

Would you like to know more about what ABRG can do to help? Read this paper on our capabilities and case studies.

No Nonsense Essential Oils

Over the years, we’ve learned the hard way how important it is to take care of ourselves, especially when we need to travel for a project and during seasons of long research days. April introduced us to using health-promoting botanicals in the form of essential oils as a more natural approach to enhancing our general wellness by:

• Inspiring a positive emotional state

• Enhancing physical wellness

• Enhancing spiritual awareness

• Purifying the air

Since then, we’ve read more about how we can better use essential oils at work. In our continuous quest to lead a healthy life and create better moods during projects with clients, we’ve listed our favorite oils/blends brands and their uses:

• Peppermint by doTerra – to remove headaches, revive energy, freshens breath

• InTune by doTerra – to enhance the senses and sustain focus

• Digestzen by doTerra – for indigestion

• Stress Away by Young Living – to combat stress

• Thieves by Young Living – to purify

• Lavender by doTerra – for relaxation (and sleep)

• Lemon by doTerra – to cleanse

• Frankincense by doTerra – helps boost immunity

• Melaleuca by doTerra – fights bacteria and fungus

• Oregano by doTerra – helps relieve common seasonal threats

We keep a stash of these oils in the office and our travel bag together with a diffuser so we can diffuse away (e.g. Peppermint during intense research days) or apply topically (e.g. Stress Away during concept work sessions) when we most need them.

Recently, April shared with us an article that talks about becoming aware of our basic tendencies so we can make better choices to support the harmony in body and mind.  And this article which tells the story about how choosing nourishing smells will awaken the mind’s innate healing powers and experience a natural vitality and wholeness based on our dosha. What is dosha, you ask?  Dosha is a person’s “mind-body” type and there are 3 primary types: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Are you curious what your dosha is?  Well, you can take a quiz here to find out! Briefly, these are what the doshas mean:

• Vata: Movement and Change

  • Tends to be always on the go with an energetic and creative mind

• Pitta: Transformation and Metabolism

  • Enjoy a strong appetite and ability to digest food, information, and experiences

• Kapha: Structure and Fluidity

  • Solid, reliable, contented souls

Based on your mind-body type (dosha), there are certain aromas (essential oils) that can help evoke states of well-being:

• Vata: floral, fruity, warm, sweet, and sour smells

  • Basil, Orange, Geranium, Clove, Vanilla, Patchouli

• Pitta: cooling and sweet smells

  • Sandalwood, Mint, Rose, Jasmine, Ylang-Ylang, Lavender

• Kapha: stimulating and spicy smells

  • Eucalyptus, Camphor, Juniper, Clove, Marjoram, Rosemary

We’re looking forward to taking the dosha quiz to understand which essential oils can support our goal of leading healthier lives!

Are you KIDding me: Designing a Kids Sensory Project

Last summer, one of our favorite clients commissioned us for a project where they needed reactions from both kids AND parents!

The problem we’ve found in the past is that kid’s reactions are somewhat biased by their parents (and sometimes, although not always), some parents want to influence their child’s reactions.  However, we needed to have parents’ perspective to get a holistic view.

Our goal is to design research as “efficiently” as possible so we worked side by side with our client partner to create research that would allow reactions from BOTH parents & children separately in the same group.

So we designed a process that will ensure the project will be a success: 

• The Problem: How do you design a kid’s research where you are able to get uninfluenced responses from both the kids AND their parents? Did I forget to mention that apart from talking to kids, we also wanted to get their parents’ reactions and inputs?
• The Solution: Create an environment where both the kids and parents would feel comfortable being separated in some parts of the research. Trust me, it’s not a logistical nightmare!
  • Set-up a movie room for kids
  • Explain logistics and timing to parents
  • Coordinate amongst ourselves when kids would be in and out of the focus group discussion

As soon as we figured out the rhythm to the process after the first group, everything was smooth sailing and we were able to implement our research design:

• Get kids’ taste preference while parents watched in the back room.
• Get parents’ interpretation of their kids’ food ratings.
• Understand how both the parent and kid come to an agreement and decide what to order.
• How to effectively get learnings/reactions/inputs with just 8 focus groups.

In the end, we were able to successfully conduct the research. And the bonus was we all had fun with the kids!